I had insomnia for 9 years of my life. I also stayed awake for three days in a row. Of course I was not able to speak correctly after three days of sleep deprivation. My words intertwined. The brain need to rest to process things. It happened to me recently that some people asked me if I remembered them and... no. Even though I know that we saw each other for at least two years, I only remembered the woman for her sweet calmness and the context where we saw each other but not

For years I knew there was something wrong with me but I couldn't figure out what. I know I felt like a ghost, even though I was interacting with people, because it was like I couldn't feel present in the moment. I had read about dissociation because I was determined to find a solution but I didn't think I had it. Years passed and the truth came out when I spoke to a trauma expert about my recurring nightmares. In recurring nightmares I was being abused and I couldn't react.

Dear friend, I understand how you feel. I too have seen the blackest darkness in my life. This is not to say that our experiences are the same, but similar. So I understand you. I cried so much I asked God if my tears could cover an entire football field. I cried so much that I was afraid to start, because I didn't know when I would stop. I wondered if it would last forever. The years passed and although there were joys, the multitude of pain was stronger. God has been my anc