For years I knew there was something wrong with me but I couldn't figure out what. I know I felt like a ghost, even though I was interacting with people, because it was like I couldn't feel present in the moment. I had read about dissociation because I was determined to find a solution but I didn't think I had it. Years passed and the truth came out when I spoke to a trauma expert about my recurring nightmares. In recurring nightmares I was being abused and I couldn't react.

Dear friend, I understand how you feel. I too have seen the blackest darkness in my life. This is not to say that our experiences are the same, but similar. So I understand you. I cried so much I asked God if my tears could cover an entire football field. I cried so much that I was afraid to start, because I didn't know when I would stop. I wondered if it would last forever. The years passed and although there were joys, the multitude of pain was stronger. God has been my anc